Miss Kolka

I might have a lot of time at home but that doesn't mean Im the perfect housewife. How can these briefs be so big? They are supposed to fit a 0-3 month old baby. Ok I know we are having a viking but COMMON!

There are moments when you should be proud of yourself. When you get a better grade than expected in an exam or when you're offered the job when you thought the interview went so bad. And then there is the crucial moment at the monthly check-up at the hospital during the pregnancy. When you have to stand on the scale and that number appears. This time I was very pleasently surprised. "Miss" said the new midwife, this one totally within normal weight limits: "you have gained one kilo since last month". Hurrah. (I knew there was something fishy about the scale or was it sabotage by the other big midwife?Will we ever know?) 
Announcing the news to the doctor two hours later (because that is how long it takes) he only had this answer: "Well, you must have been quite hungry". Maybe I was, but no not really, I just have cut down on the desserts, although I can feel that it is the baby's favourite thing. Babylicious moves the most when I eat sweet things, not when it hears funny songs or when Im touched by strangers on the belly (thank god). So I cant stop the sugary treats all together, that would just be mean and unfair. Dont worry little baby, that will not happen.

Less prouder moments are the ones I spend crying on silly things. In two days Ive "only" cried 3 times but Im completely aware that its due to the hormones and its not the real me talking. First I cried because I was so sick of the news, then I cried when I saw a story about a big american eagle flying for the first time from the top of the Mont Blanc. It had been born and raised in captivity and learned to fly with its trainer, go figure where the true moment for the tears lied. The third time was watching a lebanese film "Caramel" about women working in a beauty parlor in Beirut. Girls experiencing the tough rules of society in a middle-eastern country. Where they cant live by themselves - but have to live either with their parents or husbands, where a women is expected to be married a virgin and were they dont really control their own destiny. Anyway, I was just so relieved to be born in a country and culture where I could be myself and wouldn't have to abide to some absurd rules made by men...that I cried.

Now Im just laughing at myself.

Iceland, Islande, Ísland... I didn't think I would hear people talk about it so much ever, but it seems that the little Island up north has become a symbol for the international crisis all around the world. Often dubbed "The first national casualty" of the crisis or "when the happiest people in the world became sad" (well I haven't really seen that title in a newspaper article yet) - but the media just loves to recall that this once poorest country in Europe, turned "rich" or with the highest living standard in Europe has now become victim of its own success, or believed success at least. We had it coming though, I think that is pretty obvious, and I remember talking about that to friends not so long time ago - after I discovered that actually you can live on the money you earn, and not always on some absurd credit - that Icelanders might be heading for trouble - living a life they cant afford. You have to go away to realise actually how bad it is. But Im not saying "I told you so", its just easy to point fingers at Iceland, seeing the small size of the country. The lifestyle there is not so different from what you see in the US or UK, its just that it has a more direct effect on such a small economy. How such a small number of people could take so high risks and plunge a whole country into a deep economic crisis is just ludicrous. But as every Icelander says, with their everso optimistic cool: "its going to be ok"- Þetta reddast!

x

The financial CRISIS - its all you hear about, its all the media care about and no matter how many reports I have listened to I still don't know why it happened and how its actually going to affect average citizens, the ones who never had enough money to invest to begin with and still struggle to make ends meet. So who is losing it all here?

It seems to me that the system we live in is controlled and made by and for the rich. Sure a healthy economy needs strong financial institutions, but lately these were making billions of profit - unhealthy amounts really - and spending it like crazy on who-knows-what. With bank directors getting up to 300 times higher salary than their avarage workers (and working in a bank normally pays well) . An institution can not run effectively with only one person working there - you need them all, like in any successful company. Good management is important yes but I really don't see how these salaries can be justified, even in a competetive work environment. How were these profits made? Through you and me, do know how much you pay in interests every month? Neither do I.

And being a lawful citizen, now I know that the money I paid in taxes will also go to the same people, helping them out so they dont have to suffer, continuing to live their expensive lifestyles,  one, by the way,  that I will never afford. Because it doesnt matter how much money I make, there always seems like there are some student loans to pay or a tax I didnt plan for. Lets spend the tax money in saving the banks. Of course. But then lets not be surprised there isn't any money left for education, health care, social justice or making improvements in our environment. Because the money should go into emergency plans like these and oh, I almost forgot expensive defense programs, arms manufacturing and paying alot of money to those in charge. That's only fair. Remember, this is what you vote for people. EVERY year! When will people realise that the right, republicans or whatever you want to call them is taking care of their own, the wealthy ones, the banks and their friends. And no, you are not one of them.

Well some dont take it too seriously, with all the funny videos out there on the internet (Save-a-firm, adopt a financial insititution etc.) Maybe its just better to laugh than cry.

So I had heard about them quite alot, even had some warnings, warnings that I ignored of course because I believed in my roots and somehow hoped I would be protected. Or at least that by closing my eyes I would not be affected by these little party-poopers that everyone had been talking about. But noooo, you can't just ignore them, or not answer the phone - if they want to invite themselves, they will, even if you told them to stay away. The stretch marks have arrived.

I thought I had been careful enough in my diet, well at least this last past month - not eating too much - after the overweight midwife had rolled her eyes over my weight gain, and drinking plenty of water - which is good for the baby, and now this is going to sound selfish - but also good for the skin. I also had heard that genetics played a major role and since my mother (who almost lost weight during her pregnancy) didnt get any, I thought that she would have passed that luck around. But as with many of her features I was hoping for (no bodyhairs, slim legs, and feminin features) I seem to have lost on that one too. Not to worry, I dont think its going to be a life-altering matter, that Im going to loose my job over it or that its going to change my view of parenthood, the major change is perhaps that the boyfriend has now to add this to the what he finds a sexy pregnancy look - do not forget to mention the strech marks please, they are  now part of this. And actually the more I think about it, I find this just a confirmation of my womanhood. Especially since I found this on the internet:

Other factors include: ethnicity/skin tone (fair-skinned women tent to get them more), nutritional history (a sensible diet helps skin to stretch better), skin condition (dry skin tends to be less elastic than well nourished skin) and the amount of weight gained during pregnancy (also how rapidly it was gained). If you are carrying multiples, carrying a large baby, have excess amniotic fluid or are naturally thin or small- you may have a higher than average incidence of stretch marks.

So according to my research I have stretch marks because I have fair and beautiful skin, I am naturally thin and because our genetic make-up is so good that we are having a big baby (a before-mentioned viking I will remind you). Everybody wants big babies (but not the 12,5 kilo baby born in Bangladesh though) So What is there not too be proud of - I can say I got two tattoos, one that I got when I was young and adventurous and another one when I got pregnant. Two symbols of happy times. They deserve to be celebrated.

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