trying so hard to not interfere... but end up interfering anyway

This weekend in a shop nearby.

Me: You want blue or black?

Mr F: I want purple

Me: You want blue, purple or black socks (showing them all, equally close)?

Mr F: I want the purple ones. Those with the hearts on them. 

Mr F chose his socks himself. I swear I had little to do with it. At least that is what I told his daddy. Some might argue that since we got two boys, I spent time in the beginning trying to get at least one of them to dress a bit more like a girl. Well, it so happens, that is wasn't me, the kindergarten had a tutu skirt lying around and little fox loved putting it on. Then I guess one of the daddies complained.

We are so stuck in our gender roles, and although I have been trying to be conscious about allowing the boys to chose whatever they want (between a car and a doll for example) or trying for the 110th time to explain that no, pink is not "owned" by girls - and that if you like pink then that's fine - it seems to be bigger than me. Its everywhere. Whether its the colour of their socks, the choice of their toys or who they want to play with, I try the best to respect their wishes. Im not saying girls and boys are the same, because they aren't. But I don't see why a little boy who wants to wear purple socks with hearts on them shouldn't be allowed to do so. Although look at the two first choices I offered him.  

It is funny, I've always thought I was trying so hard not to impose gender stereotypes. But perhaps I am still as biased as anyone else. When it is about pink clothing, maybe a line needs to be drawn (and Mr F has drawn it already - pink is not hot right now). But it can appear in other forms. I am often corrected by Mr F when we read. When we read a book with baby animals and a parent next to it I might say  "the baby giraf and the mommy giraf". Mr f says then immediately "or the daddy giraf". I can't say I am surprised since he has gotten used to seeing his daddy doing all the things often described in books as "mommy things" (not least when they spent over 2 months alone together and mommy wasn't there to do all those things). We also have this book from Richard Scarry - busy town - where the traditional roles are explicit, its always mommy in the kitchen and men doing the exciting jobs (mailman/police etc). Imagine my surprise when we found a polish version of the book in the family's antic shop- the polish version is quite something:

Notice anything different?

Who is in the kitchen?

Who is controlling traffic?

Who is taking the baby for a stroll?

Love it. 

Maybe talking about it is all that it takes.

and how much difference can a purple/pink pair of socks really make?