It is a man´s world

I might say I live in a man´s world... with my three boys, the latest addition arriving the 17th of February safe and sound. What a relief. So Mr. F and Sexy papa Pete now have to compete with the fantastic mister Fox for my affection. Well not really.. like Seal once said, when you think you can´t give any more love, your heart just gets bigger. It feels like that. although, every thing has been getting bigger and sorer - I think every inch of my body has been aching these last two weeks but what do you expect after laying down for more than 4 months and then a birth that takes less that 2 hours.

I caught myself thinking this was a man´s world in the maternity ward as well. Of all places. After fantastic Fox had arrived we had to stay in the "ceasarian/complication" ward due to my loss of blood that seemed to be of some concern to the doctors. In that ward there were new parents and alot of screaming babies. And those taking care of the babies were the fathers. They were changing babies, getting clean clothes, heating the milk, washing the bottles, talking to the nurses and watching occasionally a glimps of the winter olympics in the common room with sleeping babies on their chests. The mothers were nowhere to be seen. They were recovering in their respective rooms while the men were in charge. There was something beautiful about that. So much tenderness and attentiveness on behalf on all these men becoming fathers for the first time or second or third in some cases. I noticed sexy papa Pete (who didnt have a bed and "slept" one night on a chair in the hallway and on an abandoned bed nearby the next night) was in his element. He knew where all the things were kept and showed one tired mommy how to change the nappy two days later when she finally stood up. Up til then he had done everything that had to be done. The third night when he had to go home I felt akwardly out of place changing my little boy while all the big boys were singing and holding their little ones in their manly hands. I didn't stay long in those eery hallways since they seemed to be reserved to the fraternity. 

It is nice to know that if allowed to take part, men can just as well be in charge of newborns as women. Mostly they dont because they are not allowed, by the mommies. The mothers always think they know best. And they might, but only because they have had the time to know their children and spend more time with them at home...

More paternity leave can only be beneficial, for all parties. For women to learn to share responsibility and for men to get comfortable with their children and get to know them better. This time I'm also seeing how breastfeeding is a barrier for new fathers. They don't get the closeness of feeding hours. Having bottlefeed Mr. F we now are seeing the "joys of breastfeeding". It is easier, if it works, but it means sexy papa Pete is excluded in those moments. But being the perfect daddy he is, I know he would breastfeed if he could and ease under the pain of this happy, but very tired mommy. How can one tiny mouth have so much to eat?