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I feel inspiration is coming to me again. And as usual it is coming through meeting people. New and old. Friends are always a good source of information and good advice. Therefore having visitors here in the city of the happy people has lifted my spirit. We also travelled to Paris again which was an intense trip of food-relaxation-family time-enjoying freedom (away from the kids-then missing them) and then more food! It also brought new ideas.
Lets hope I use this to land a top job!
Funny how the job search can totally consume you. Met new faces at a party the other day. Turns out half of the party is looking for one (a job, not a party) even those that already are working. Isn't that a bit greedy? shouldn't you let us get a little piece of the pie and get in the game? No wonder it is taking forever to find work, if for every position half of Copenhagen is applying! But good things come to good people, and like I said, inspiration is on its way and that can only help.
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The neverending topic. Especially when you are pregnant, you have a child and it wont breastfeed,then you get pregnant again and number two loves it! You talk about it to your mother, to your grandmothers, to your mother-in-laws, then your friends who get pregnant and have children of their own, you talk to the mothergroup about it, to the midwives and to the doctors. Sometimes you might even have a chat with a perfect stranger in a wedding:
"Yes, its tough isn't it? Yours is not taking the breast either? ok. But that's fine you know, they make so good formula these days"... etc etc.
I think this is one topic I have exhausted during the last 2 years. Still, I dont get tired talking about it, hence this blog entry (which is also to prove that MY blog isn't dead).
To make a long story short, Mr. F had some reflux problems but also never had a proper sucking reflex so even though I tried breastfeeding him, after 6 weeks of pumping my milk and losing my mind we switched completely to the bottle. It was SO MUCH easier, I got over the birth faster, sexy papa Pete was happy to be involved, the little one got very fat and everyone was happy (not least the French nurses who could not understand why I tried so hard, giving the bottle is just so common in France). It made going out to restaurants, parcs and cafés alot easier as people did not mind me giving the bottle in any of those places. For a split second I thought about whether I was a good mother or not, but then I let it slide. He was a happy child and we were happy parents.
Fantastic Mr. fox arrived shortly thereafter, although born on the Scandinavian penisula. He was smaller than his brother and during the first days it was a little bit difficult to get him to breastfeed. But boy, did he like to suck! He got extra milk in the beginning (but in little cups so it would not affect his sucking reflex) and after 3 months of stressful, painful and long feeding periods he (and I) finally got the hang of it. Although being a second time mother, I was still nervous and not sure of myself when it came to breastfeeding. But I got alot of help and support from the medical establishment as well as at home.
And these two experiences have been completely and utterly different! I would not have believed it myself if someone would have told me. I guess its how nature intended it and breastfeeding has alot of benefits, especially for the child, but for the mother there are a few things to consider...
When you breastfeed, you are not the same person. You are tired, hungry and constantly thirsty and you think you are the only person on the world that can comfort your child (and that includes the baby daddy). It's not true. There is a term for the mother's mindset when she is breastfeeding and it is "fog". You thought you were forgetful during the pregnancy? Think again. Its worse when you actually have a live baby to take care of and those hormones do not make your job easier. Being in Scandinavia, you hear day in and day out that breastfeeding is what your child needs and I think that over 90 percent of Danish women breastfeed actually. It is a high number. In France I heard it was something close to 60 percent the first 2 weeks and then it went down to 15-10 percent after the 1st month. There is a huge difference.
For the record I am still breastfeeding fantastic Mr.Fox. But it is down to one feeding a day (typically the early morning one so no one has to get out of bed) and he is eating different food now being over 6 months old plus he finally accepted the bottle (that was not easy because we started too late). And it might be because the birth is 6 months away or it might be that we are sleeping better and longer but I feel like the fog has finally lifted. Not completely perhaps but almost. I felt so vulnerable those first 6 months, very insecure in how much my child was eating and constantly worrying if he was having enough to eat and if he was a bit fussy I always connected that to the cup of coffee I had earlier that day, the onions for dinner the night before, all those chocolate bars I was eating.. or whatever
So is it better to breastfeed or give the bottle? There is no right answer. It depends on so many things. Like what kind of milkpowder is avaible, how much the father wants to participate, how comfortable the mother is, whether the child is getting enough food through breastmilk, financial revenues, your beliefs or perhaps and very importantly, cultural differences. But this is by no means a complete list. Many children have gotten the bottle and are perfectly healthy (the most common reason given for breastfeeding is that the child gets important antibodies in the mothermilk), Fantastic Mr. Fox has already been sick many times but he also has a big brother that picks up all the germs and brings them home. And its not sure your child will sleep all night long if you give it a big bottle before it goes to sleep every night. So I guess its up to the parents and what they are comfortable with.
If we were to have another child (hopefully not in a near future) and I was asked if I wanted to breastfeed, Im not sure what I would answer. Perhaps it will come to me once the fog clears and the blue skies are apparent again.
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The blog is dead. I know I have mentioned this before now it is official - all my "blog friends" have died. They have either de-activated their pages or just simply stopped writing, without even saying goodbye. It makes me sad. I will admit I am realizing this quite late - because yes - I haven't checked their blogs in a very long time. Apparently people do not have patience to read (or write) long blogs anymore (according to some study). Except those that talk about trends and stuff...
Alright, it doesn't matter. I refuse to give up. Even though the number of visits here won't help me to make it into record books I will continue. My blog is mainly for me. If other people enjoy it, then great, if not, I understand. People are busy. But I rather want to spend the little spare time I have in front of the computer writing my thoughts than reading the news. They are just too depressing. Here is a thought, how about skipping the computer and the Tv altogether and do something totally crazy - like spend the time reading a book or talking to real people?
No... I like hiding behind my computer screen...
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Two months since I last wrote a blog! I wish I could say " I was away on holiday", which I was, but in this day and age that is hardly an excuse since you are connected all the time (not least through the phone, but as I have mentioned before, blogging through the Iphone is not that easy). It did not stop me from having a few blog epiphanies during that time...
I thought hard about this article I read on the NYT a few weeks back. French women apparently age more gracefully than American ones, in the opinion of this journalist. Or they perhaps accept aging better (well, some do). I would say that it is true that many French women never lose their sense of style, no matter how old they are. Its enough to go one afternoon and admire the elderly ladies sitting in Parisian cafes to know Im right. But while I was having one of the best showers I've had in a very long time (kids sleeping, somebody else to take care of them if they woke up and the odeur of my favourite shampoo and soap - brought back especially from France- filling the room) I thought about how much I missed the beauty product aisle in French supermarkets. After all, 33 percent of French girls in the ages of 15-19 year old are already using wrinkle cream.
Maybe its the high number of pharmaceutical companies or all those traditionally French fashion labels specialising in creams, perfumes and makeup that make all these products available at a fair price. But I rather think that all these products are available because there is a real demand for them. French women take care of their skin and use ALOT of different soaps, creams and hair products in general. In that way I will say Im very French. I love my shampoo and monsavon. When I lived in Iceland my grandma used to send bottles of it to me regularly. It always made me so happy. My aunt has always given me skinproducts for special occasions (oh how much I love my Dior creams, I think they are solely responsable for getting me back in shape after the birth of my second child). And every time I go to France I have to have at least one trip to the supermarket to adimre the shampoos (it sounds a little bit crazy, I know - but ok I also love the chocolate aisle and the one with all the yougurts!)
Why is it that scandinavian stores do not have a wider range of products? I am very disappointed by Danish supermarkets. Not too mention the pharmacies (Aptotek) that you have to look for and cue in because they are so little and there are so few of them, one for each neighborhood (In France they are on every corner which perhaps is a bit too much.. and can be irritating as I have blogged about before... They all want you to lose weight and haunt you with posters of perfect women eating diet pills and using magic solutions during springtime. I know I know, French women dont get fat...) There must be something in between. and perhaps the secret to good skin and great hair is less soap, I dont know. I just know that if I want to use soap I want it to smell of lavander, silk or other beautiful things. That is what makes me feel beautiful. Oh ok, and being loved, that helps...
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In december 2008: "Hi my name is Kolka and Im a news junkie"
Well not anymore. I got over my addiction, at least for now. Granted, I dont live in a cave and I would have a hard time not knowing ANYTHING about current events but it is fair to say that my taste in news has changed, could I say evolved? Not sure.
During my years at fr24 (and even before that and a little after) I could not stand losing out on big events. I had to know exactly what was happening, when, where and who was involved. I often read 4-5 different pieces on the same topic, mostly concerning international events, political meetings, war stories, even got interested in economy and since I was in France I had to know everything happening in French politics. I read and I read, watched and listened, thought I knew alot and yet the question of "why is this newsworthy" would creep up all the time. No matter how much I read or watched, I was always reading/hearing the same story. I found myself asking "why" alot. Why are these decisions being taken? Why is this person involved? Why are we reporting on this? And the answers I got were seldom good enough ("all the other channels are doing it" "because we are in France" was another popular one at work) The bigger picture was missing. Of course, working on an international news channel, I had to know these things to do my job properly, at least on the surface. I got pretty good at reading the headlines and getting the repeated information every news corporation was interested in into my head to then repeate it to anyone who wanted to listen. But what started to happen was that I started losing interest. There were so few backstories or real analysis that all these "facts and figures" stopped being relevant. Who cared really? Maybe some unidentified "leaders" (france 24 convinced itself it was the channel of leaders) but the lamda viewer had very limited interest.
So I kicked the habit but it's not a 12-step program to stop completely, seriously its not like its killing my liver (although the stress might eventually contribute to serious health problems) and of course I still watch the news, whenever I can. Or let me correct that. I watch the national news whenever I can and I check some newssite on the internet when Im in the mood. Im on a little break from 24 hour news channels because you can't watch them longer than 15 minutes without seeing them repeat themselves. I like long news programs that are at least 30 minutes. I never thought I would say this but I like the little "neighbory" stories of what is happening in my area (Now some very important dead news people are turning themselves in their graves!). Im still interested in what is happening in other parts of the world and Im very happy to follow politics wherever in the western world but I also like the lighter parts of the program, where guests come to speak about cultural events happening this week and the chef shows you some seasonal recipies to try at home. I think this all goes together. What I dont want is 10 minutes of war images followed by an empty analysis by a journalist reading the AP wires plus 5 minutes of dead protestors in Thailand and then the weather without a friendly weatherman. I have my iphone for that. If I want AP wires I get the AP application. If I want to know if its good weather tomorrow, I check my phone.
Things have changed. Or maybe I just have. I remember the arrogance of us newsjunkies, we thought we were so much better because we cared about Afghanistan and that people who wanted to see how the watersupply next door got polluted were stupid. Who is stupid now?
But Bad habits are hard to break - I do have a confession to make, I have two "breaking news" applications on my phone plus my hubby to update me on anything newsworthy I've missed(he hasn't kicked the habit), you got me. I might care about my neighbors and Victoria's wedding but I care more about not looking stupid and knowing when something big happens. I want to be "the first to know" and if there is an assassination attempt on the American president I will tune in to CNN straight away...
Interesting thought here on this blog negative news vs. positive news
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Reykjavík, Paris, København...
Wherever I go, my opinions will follow...
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